THE Greatest Showman

Firstly, I would like to congratulate any parents reading this blog. You’ve done it, you are half way through the summer holidays!  Only another few weeks of having your sanity tested daily.

I say this, but I have it easy. My amazing wife has taken our 3 on holiday for the whole of the summer holidays whilst I stay at home and work. I do join them every weekend, and for a couple of weeks (to give my wife a partial break!). She’s brave, as they stay in a beach hut which is no bigger than 20’x 15′, which is perfect when the weather is dry, but they soon get cabin fever if it’s raining and there is nowhere to escape to. I’ve found the trick to this (it applies if you are ever staying in a confined space – tent, caravan, campervan, etc), is to wear them out in the day.

We are fortunate that where we stay hosts both the beach and woodland pretty much on our ‘doorstep’ so it’s perfect for them to explore and play. Although sometimes I watch and feel they could play a little harder, you know, just to tire them out that little bit more so that it makes bedtime a little easier; or maybe I just can’t miss out on the opportunity to behave like a kid and get involved myself.

As much as I moan about my kids, I love them more than anything – even gin! I value the time I get to spend with them and the beach hut is our perfect playground. However, this year I appear to have a following! T1 and T2 are now at an age where they go and find friends to play with, but after a while they get bored and want to do something else. This is normally where I suggest something and get dragged into it. On this occasion it happened to be mountain biking through the woods.

What started as me, T1 and T2 and the +1 keeping up on his go-kart, soon ended up with around 8 of us as we came out of the woods at the other end. Their friends had seen what we were doing and wanted to join in. As I glanced back towards the beach hut, it appeared my wife had also been struck with this new-found popularity and is now known as the “beach face painter“. Having painted some rather cool Paw Patrol faces on T1, T2 and the +1, some of their friends soon started asking for their faces to be painted too. This generally happens here, it has this community atmosphere and the people make a huge effort to get along and interact with one another, it’s part of what makes this place so unique and special. It does make me laugh though, as I sit on the decking in the evening with a G&T and think of some of the other parents enjoying the sun and peace and quiet, whilst I inadvertently entertained their kids for an hour!

To be honest, I’m just a big kid at heart, any excuse to build dens, dig channels on the beach or climb trees.  It never gets old! My father is and my father-in-law was the same. They can’t help but join in and my kids love it. It’s about making memories, long lasting memories, the kind that shape you as an individual. My children have been extremely lucky in this aspect as it is something we have both had instilled in us by our parents and now our kids have us and their grandparents who are dedicated to doing just this.

I love this quote from Bob Dylan “Take care of all your memories … for you cannot relive them.” It’s been rather poignant for me recently, but it is so true.

Just over a month ago we lost a huge part of our lives and our family. Very unexpectedly my father-in-law died, and it has turned our world upside down. This is the first family bereavement we have had to deal with, with the children and they were incredibly close to him. Everything goes through your head about how they will react to the news; will they understand? All you want to do is protect them and keep everything “normal” for them.

While those thoughts are completely understandable, it is also important to allow them to see you grieve and understand their own and your emotions. I’ve said in previous blogs that I am always amazed by how sensible and grown up T1 and T2 can be when faced with a serious situation, but on this occasion, I was blown away. Their maturity, understanding, compassion and empathy, I honestly do not think I would have had at 12 let alone 6 years old. What makes it particularly hard is that their grandparents basically lived with us for the first 5 years of the twins’ life, providing childcare for all three of our children for us, so they were very close to him. They miss him, they always will, but the memories he left them will give them comfort and make sure he’s never forgotten.

There is no gin review with this blog and I know this sort of goes against my usual blogging style, but I wanted to have the opportunity to pay tribute to a wonderful person.  And to be honest, I wanted to do this, but I didn’t know how or if I was able to. So here goes, my very raw and honest tribute to my amazing father-in-law…

Martin was the most selfless man I have ever met. 99% of his day was spent doing things for other people, doing things to bring people joy and make them smile, or just to brighten up someone’s day, even make it slightly easier for them. This sometimes came at a cost to his family, as some days we wouldn’t see him for hours while he would be volunteering for local community events, or the National Trust. But when he was spending time with us, he always made it special. Everything was an adventure, and nothing was ever impossible.

When I once suggested trying to make cider from the apples on my apple tree, he encouraged me and assisted me to do it. A couple of years later, his enthusiasm and help made this become an obsession to go bigger and better, seeing us produce around 160 bottles of wine, 90l of cider and several kegs of beer in a year. Without this little adventure into brewing, I wouldn’t be sat here today writing a blog about gin.

This is what I admired the most about Martin, his never fading enthusiasm, his ‘can do, will do’ attitude and his desire to go bigger and better. He was never one to rest and every day was filled with purpose.

He loved technology and would very rarely be seen without a camera in his hand. For this, I truly am thankful. Martin captured memories at every possible moment, and when he wasn’t capturing them he was making them. Always wanting to “put on a show”, loud, confident and lovably infectious, he made countless people smile.

He taught me so much about so many things.  He encouraged me to keep going even when the odds were stacked against me.

I’ll miss the little things. I’ll miss walking into the kitchen once the kids had fallen asleep, pouring a whisky and talking about random things with him until late in the night. I’ll miss our mutual love of Christmas, I’ll miss me saying some crazy idea out loud and the next day he would have only gone and done it (just like the giant screen and projector in the garden when we couldn’t get to Glastonbury that year!) I could go on and on, but it’s still a little too raw right now and that makes it harder to write this.

A man never afraid to dream and to make those dreams come true. Martin, you truly are THE Greatest Showman and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me into your family and treating me as a son. I’ll remember all you taught me and treasure the memories you have given me and my children.

So, in keeping with your tradition at a special occasion, in your absence I’ll be the one to make this toast and raise my glass to you. “To absent friends”.

In Martin’s memory:
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